Today my apple was a rare and exotic apple called Mr Toast Apple. His hobbies included being heated up in a toaster, spreading butter over himself and getting crumbs everywhere. His last words were, “I would like to make a toast.” To which I replied that I suspected he was already toast and then I ate him while he pondered this amusing pun. He tasted distinctly unfruity and like he really shouldn’t be an apple of the day.

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