Today my apple was the kind of person who never responds to emails, text or facebook messages. Emailing him is like throwing a letter into a furnace. His name is Johnny Crapple. His hobbies included ignoring people, making people think that he hates them and telling people he is far too busy for trivial things like common courtesy and being polite. His last words were, “I saw all your messages and I thought, ‘This isn’t a person who is important enough to reply to. I shall ignore them and hope this eventually crushes their self esteem and drives them to suicide.'” I ate him wondering why he seem to have watched so much TV if he was as busy as he claimed. He tasted like marmite and kebab.

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