Today my apple was a fat green ghost called SlimeAppler. His hobbies included Eating, covering people in ectoplasm and gardening. He didn’t really have any last words, he just cackled, but before I ate him a group of Ghostbuster apples burst into my office along with an inspector for the Environmental Protection Agency. One of the Ghostbuster apples said, “Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.”, then the EPA apple said, “They caused an explosion!” I looked at these apples and asked, “Is this True?” to which one of the Ghostbuster apples replied, “Yes it’s true… this man has no dick.” As amusing as I had found this deadpan remark I decided to eat all the apples that had found their way in my office. They tasted like slimy awesomeness with a hint of vanilla.

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