Today my apple was a Avatapple called Jake Sully. His hobbies included exploring new alien worlds, becoming accepted into alien tribes and I’m also pretty sure he was into a strange form of giant smurf bestiality. There is niche porn and then there is that. His last words were, “One life ends, another begins.” I wasn’t really paying attention to him though because I was still in shock from when he had told me he was the biggest grossing apple of all time. Apparently he also ushered in a new era of entertainment where everyone wears dark glasses and looks at a blurry image – apparently this is the future. He tasted like Papa smurf and tic tacs.