Today my apple was a Dark Lord of the Sith and ruler of a galaxy far, far away called Emperor Pappletine. His hobbies included conquering the galaxy, converting impressionable young men into Dark Sith Lords and Tiddlywinks which he is very good at, probably because he cheats and uses the force. His last words were, “Strike me down with all of your hatred, and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!” which seemed like a strange thing for an emperor to want. I left him though because he was all mouldy and looked like he had face rot. I’m not sure what he tasted like, but if I had to guess I’d say he’d taste like a fully operation deflector shield.

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