Today my apple was a nasty ring addict called Gollapplum. His hobbies included holding his ring, talking to his ring and ice skating. His last words were, “We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, false!” I’ve heard people claim that he was driven mad by the ring that he carries around and is so obsessed with, but to be honest, I think it’s got more to do with the amount of Special Brew that he drinks. He tasted like the most impressively animated tramp you’ll ever see.

This week is Lord of the RIngs week at AOD and we’re giving you another chance to win a prize. Simply let us know which Lord of the Rings character you’d like to see as an apple and the winner will not only get see their chosen character in apple form, they’ll also get a pornographic photograph of some brussel sprouts signed by the famous page 3 model Titsie Flangewoo.