Today my apple was an evil monster called Saurapple. His hobbies included taking over Middle Earth, creating evil armies and pressing flowers. His last words were, “You cannot hide. I see you. There is no life in the void. Only death.” at first impression I didn’t really like him, but after having a chat over a cup of tea and some Jaffa Cakes we actually realised we have a lot in common. He tasted like a double hard bastard.

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