Today my apple was a brave dwarf called Gimappli. His hobbies included fighting bad guys, saving good guys and dressing up in drag. His last words were, “Never thought I’d die fighting side by side with an Elf. ” I think he was referring to the girly looking bloke he was with who was mincing around with long hair and a bow and arrow. He tasted like haggis and deep fried Miss Piggy.

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