Today my apple was the ruler is Libapplya called Colonel Gadappli. His hobbies included starting wars, buying WMDs and hiking. His last words were, “There is a conspiracy to control Libapplyan oil and to control Libapplyan land, to colonise Libapplya once again. This is impossible, impossible. We will fight until the last man and last woman to defend Libapplya from east to west, north to south.” To be honest, I was quite distracted by his face, which appeared to be melting. He tasted like someone who won’t be in power for much longer with a hint of mushroom, which is a shame, because I don’t really like mushroom.