Today my apple was an idiot judge called Gilbert Mcfapple. His hobbies included jailing apple’s for 2 years for being comfortable in their own skin, insisting that witnessing extreme violence is better than seeing a willy and having erotic dreams about fish. His last words were, “I jailed that apple for two years, which quite frankly isn’t long enough. I think there is nothing more disgusting and unnatural than the skin of an apple and anyone that disagrees must be a sexual deviant. If I had my way, not only would all apples have to cover up their bodies, but they’d be forced to wear face masks as well so we can’t see their hideous apple faces. In fact, in an ideal world, we’d all undergo surgery at birth to make us look a lot more like wasps. Because I don’t think there is anything depraved about looking at a naked wasp. In fact, can wasps even be naked? Don’t they have lots of little hairs all over them?” I totally disagreed with this infantile judge – I don’t see anything wrong with nudity, it is completely natural and despite what a lot of apples think, doesn’t have to be remotely sexual. In fact, I think if apples spent more time around other naked apples it would help promote a much healthier body image and go a long way to counteract the ideas that are perpetuated by the media using over airbrushed images to create a pernicious lie that claims that apples bodies should and can be perfect. But then again, anyone that knows me probably A. Already knows my views on nudity and B. has seen my balls. He tasted like the kind of idiot that would have us flagellating ourselves for pulling our pants down to poo.

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