Today my apple was a lovely little Mogwai called Gizmapple. His hobbies included watching movies, singing a sweet sounding tune and breakdancing. His last words were, “Bright light! Bright light!” which he said in a cute, high pitched voice that made me want to keep him forever. Unfortunately I fed him some of my kebab at 12.45 and he turned into a horrible green, slimy Gremlin. He tasted like a Banjo flavoured cucumber.

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