Today my apple was a brave marine called Cpl. Dwapple Hicks. His hobbies included space travel, fighting Xenomorphs and being killed off before the credits have finished in the sequel despite being one of the best characters in film history. His last words were, “I wanna introduce you to a personal friend of mine. This is an M41A pulse rifle. Ten millimeter with over-and-under thirty millimeter pump action grenade launcher.” He tasted like Cameron at his absolute best.

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