Today my apple was the previous MNU executive in charge of relocating the Prawns from District 9 called Wikus van de Mapple. His hobbies included being a racist before finally realising the error of his ways because he has turned into a prawn, having a massive alien arm and piloting an awesome alien robot. His last words were, “Get your fokkin’ tentacle out of my face!” He tasted like Nandos Peri Peri sauce.

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