Today my apple was the sort of smug bastard who has already done all of their Christmas shopping called Barry Appleton. His hobbies included doing his Christmas shopping in June, paying for everything with vouchers and wearing a cardigan. His last words were, “I don’t find Christmas at all stressful and I don’t see any reason for it to be. A long as you start planning in January like I do then everything should be tickity boo!” He tasted a cheese flavoured Minced Pie.

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